Last week my husband and I were blessed with a trip to the beach. I love the beach…everything about it. I love sitting on the balcony and watching the waves swell out in the ocean and then gently wash upon shore. I love watching the pelicans fly by in perfect formation. I love watching the children playing and laughing as they run in and out of the water. I love sitting on the beach and letting the waves wash up over my feet. I love feeling the warmth of the sun upon me as it gives my skin a beautiful glow. I love watching the sun set over the ocean and the sky being lit up in an array of beautiful colors. I love how peaceful and relaxing it is and how easy it is to sense God’s presence. Literally, there is nothing that I dislike about being at the beach, not even the storms when they roll in flashing lightening across the sky. I always look forward to time at the beach and I can be confident that God has a “theme” for our time together. Last week didn’t disappoint…we communed about being tried by fire…purified.
As I sat on the balcony having my quiet time on morning one, the Lord impressed a song on my heart. I pulled it up on YouTube and pressed play. It began with these words being spoken, “Be what You have always been…the fire, the refiner”. That should have been a clue as to the “theme” of the week, haha, but I continued to worship with this song as I leaned into His sweet presence. As it got to the chorus I began to sing along, “I want to be tried by fire…purified. You take whatever you desire, Lord, here’s my life”. I continued to sing with the first two choruses while tears streamed down my face and His presence almost tangible…and then I’m not sure what happened exactly, but I was, all of a sudden, very much aware of the words I was singing and exactly what they were saying. “I WANT TO BE TRIED BY FIRE…PURIFIED. YOU TAKE WHAT EVER YOU DESIRE, LORD, HERE’S MY LIFE.” I didn’t sing along afterwards, but I sat there quietly with tears continuing to stream down my face even more intense now as I thought about the significance of those words.
Maybe that seems odd to you that I didn’t sing those words once they were highlighted in my spirit. I mean…at that moment…I knew God was speaking to me and instead of continuing to sing as usual, I wanted to truly think about the words I was singing and allow myself to be in a place to KNOW what I was singing, UNDERSTAND what I was singing (counting the cost), and then be able to fully sing them with everything within me.
Of course I want to always walk uprightly before the Lord. Unquestionably I want Him to cleanse me of anything and everything that is not of Him. I do want to be tried by fire…purified because it is necessary. Yes and Yes again!!! But, I have walked through the fire many times with Him and it’s not a pleasant or easy process and it’s not something I want to declare aloud to Him without fully understanding what I am saying. Am I willing to walk through the fire with Him? Absolutely! Will I come out the other side tried and purified and looking more like Him? Totally! Will I be thankful for the purifying process? Most certainly! Will I ever sing those words or pray those words without truly considering what I am saying? NEVER!!!
Obviously at this point I knew the theme for the week. We were going to be talking about fire…about being purified…about allowing Him to burn away everything that is not of Him…about offering my life fully to Him. I am not walking in any known sin that He needs to cleanse from me, but He knows what we need in order to get to where He is taking us and He knows when we need to be cleansed from things that have attached themselves to us. Did you know that you can become defiled (dirty) just by living life? We can have ungodly thoughts, we can pick up an offense, get caught up in gossip, or a number of things that actually defile us and cause us to need to be tried by fire…purified by the God who loves us.
I think of my wedding rings and how they get dirty and dulled. When I am wearing them I don’t do activities that I know will get them dirty, but they seem to get dirty just from everyday life and they need to be cleaned. When they get dirty they do not look as pretty, they’re dull and do not sparkle like they do when they are clean. When they are clean…other people notice them, too. That is the same with us…when we have all of this “dirt” on us…we don’t sparkle like we do when we are clean.
Fast forward to later in the week. I’m journaling about how God will gives us a song, a scripture, asks us a question or however He gets our attention…to reveal the posture of our heart. He doesn’t give us these things so He can know our heart posture…He already knows. Instead He is wanting us to see our heart posture for ourselves. He needs us to know our hearts so that we can allow Him to help prepare us and position us for where He is taking us. I was writing what I was sensing about trusting Him in the storm or the fire (story of my life) and another song came to mind. The words I began singing in my spirit were, “Fill me up, Lord.” So I looked this song up on YouTube and guess what the first words were? “You provide the fire, I’ll provide the sacrifice.”
Ok God, I hear you!!!
So, I’m thinking this fire experience is all about me. God is wanting to prepare my heart posture to be ready when it’s time to step into the fire so I’m not caught off guard and find myself in a place of confusion, desperation, struggle, fear, doubt or any number of feeling, but rather fully trusting Him. He wants me to know that He is with me in the fire and it is for my good and His glory! All of this is true..the fire is to purify my heart and it is for my good and His glory, but this week on my FB memory a picture meme helped bring a broader meaning to the fire process.
A meme from 2018 said, “Somebody had to go into the fire in order for Nebuchadnezzar TO SEE GOD! It’s not always about you…REMEMBER, Someone is looking for Him”. This spoke right to me after last week’s theme with God. The refiners fire is not only about me…but it is about others as well. God loves so big that He will allow me to walk through the fire if it means you will see Him and turn to Him.
It is not always about me when I am walking through the fire. It is not always about you when you are walking through the fire. Sure it will burn away what is not of Him and purify our hearts making us more like Him, but it’s not only about us. Others are watching as we go into the fire and they are looking for Jesus. Will they see Him? As they watch us in the fire, will they see something that causes them to want to know Jesus? Will they see the ugliness being burned away and the beauty of the Lord shining through? Whatever Nebuchadnezzar saw when he looked into the fire…may those watching us see the same thing.
May our heart posture before the Lord always be one that desires nothing more than His desires for us. May our words sing out, “I want to be tried by fire…purified. Take whatever you desire, Lord, here’s my life.”
Beautiful and true. I had prayed years ago Lord teach me the crucified life. I meant it then and I mean it now, but like you said there is a cost, but nothing compared to knowing HIM! I can always tell when fire is coming because of the way God moves on me. Can’t really describe it but it’s like the Presence you described, so sweet but at the same time strengthening. Won’t lie sometimes I have to fight the fear and even dread of what’s next, but He pulls us through. You are so right, people are watching us. Never knew this until years ago when a coworker told me she watched the things I went through and the way I handled them. None of us live unto ourselves. Love your blogs……honest and real!
You are an amazing writer! Love you.